A retired male factory worker has taken up an unexpected new role in China - as a self taught ballerina.

He started teaching himself ballet 12 years ago from books and television shows, reports Chutian Metropolis News.

Tu, who previously worked in a heavy machinery factory in Wuhan, Hubei province, now dances at private functions, such as weddings and business events.

"When performing, if I wear a mask, the audience would think I am a professional female dancer, although my shape is a bit chubby," he said.

A novice nun is suing her ex-boyfriend in Italy after he uploaded pictures of her naked on Facebook.

The 31-year-old woman who lives in Turin said she was devastated when she saw the pictures, taken in summer 2006 during a holiday in Sicily, on the social networking site.

The man who said he wanted to stop her becoming a nun has refused to remove the pictures despite the woman's requests.

Now lawyer Anna Orecchioni has taken action and said: "My client doesn't want money, she only wants that he respects her decision to become a nun."

Large numbers of Italians meanwhile have logged on to see the pictures leaving comments like: "If all the nuns are like that, I want to become a priest."

Burglar shuns the jewellery and fucks the dog instead

A man in the US has been arrested for allegedly breaking into a house to have sex with a dog.

Christopher Bagwell, 26, is accused of entering a home in Farmington, West Virginia while the owner was at work.

A friend of the person who owned the house had stopped by to leave off some possessions when she said she caught Bagwell having sex with the owner's dog, a male Australian shepherd, border collie mix.

She said: "His pants were down around his ankles and thrusting like crazy and the dog was making an awful sound."

At the time, she called Bagwell a "sick bastard" and he let go of the dog.

"The dog jumped down off the chair and ran over towards the love seat. At that time Chris started towards her, pulling his pants up," the police report said.

Bagwell has been charged with burglary and animal cruelty.

A crazy ass who swindled benefit money to pay for operations to make himself look like the devil has been banned from leaving his house at night.

Gavin Paslow was handed the curfew after using £3,552 from housing benefits and income support to fund fangs, a forked tongue and horns.

The 39-year-old, who also changed his name to Diablo Delenfer - 'devil from the inferno' - told magistrates he needed to carry out the 'body work' to look more like Lucifer.

Speaking after the case, he said: 'It was a stupid mistake and I'm really sorry. I'm paying it all back. I really regret it. I'm pleased with my look so far but what I really want is a tail.'

A drug dealer was jailed for three years after police found a Kinder Surprise egg stuffed with heroin up his ass.

Paul Boyes kept six £10 wraps in the children's toy, a court heard. They were found after he was stopped by police outside his Middlesbrough flat in January.

The 25-year-old admitted possessing the Class A drug and was sentenced at Teesside Crown Court.

Oh shit. Bitch in my office has swine flu! I had a conversation with her just the other day, so I hope she didn't pass it onto me. I'm not even registered with a doctor in my area. Eeek! I can feel my willy curling already.

Marky Mark is yummers!

Here he is on the set of 'The Fighter'.

A man in Indiana, USA faces charges after getting a little too close to the woman in front of him in the queue for the checkout in a store.

Andre Ladale Deloney, 55, allegedly rubbed his genital area against the ass cheeks of the woman in front of him in the line for the Dollar Tree store in the town of Griffith.

The woman told police she moved forward, assuming it was accidental, but that he did it again.

"If you touch me again I'll bash you in the head with my umbrella," the woman said to Deloney, according to a police report.

Deloney then ran out of the shop and was chased by several customers.

He claimed he accidentally bumped into the woman, but then mistakenly thought she "liked it and was coming on to me, so I intentionally rubbed on her the second time".

He said: "I'm sorry."

Hey, that kinda thing happens all the time during rush-hour in London Underground. It's probably the highlight of every miserable commuter's day.

Get ready for some rub-a-dub-dub!

Sorry, slags. Nothin' worth blogging today. Maybe tomorrow will be more productive. 

I had my grocery shopping delivered this evening and the spotty delivery guy informed me that from next week, he will be unable to deliver groceries to any flat above the 1st floor because all the drivers are suffering from bad backs. Arghhhhhhh. Yes, it's all very sad about their backs, but the reason I pay to have stuff delivered is so that I don't have to do the hard work and carry heavy shit up the stairs. To bad, Sainsbury's- I'm defecting to Tesco!

Never light a firecracker in your ass

Eww!

Man, that is DRY!

It may not have exactly been the target market when it was launched, but a particular brand of moisturiser is going down a storm with the elephants in Belfast Zoo - particularly to keep their asses smooth.

The zoo is home to four female elephants, in what is effectively a retirement home for older elephants, and they've been having a problem of dry skin, particularly around their feet and lower legs - and their butts.

Elephant curator Alyn Cairns said: 'Our herd of four older females is now complete and we want to provide them with the best care in their old age. That includes looking after their skin.'

Under veterinary advice the elephant team tried many different creams to soften the skin of the elephants, but with limited effect, he said.

Female keeper Aisling McMahon came to the rescue suggesting the moisturising cream she used from a supermarket.

'I found it difficult to find a good moisturiser for my own skin and when I realised this particular one worked for me, I suggested it to the team.

'The elephants now get moisturised regularly. Cream is applied to the elephant's feet, bum and body.'

And the old ladies are not making extravagant demands, a supermarket own-brand fits the bill perfectly.

Caoimhe Mannion, marketing manager of Tesco in Northern Ireland, spotting a good opportunity for a plug, said: 'It is essential that people protect their skins in hot weather - but I didn't realise elephants were such big fans of our products.'

A Japanese rail firm has introduced a system to check that staff are smiling enough at all times.

Computerised scanners around 15 Tokyo stations will measure the smile's curvature to ensure it is broad enough.

Those failing to measure up - literally - will be ordered to look less serious and more cheerful.

The system will also be introduced at a hospital in Osaka to check staff friendliness and at a truck stop to measure the tiredness of drivers.

It is standard practice for smartly-dressed train conductors to bow as customers enter and leave train carriages.

They suggest that future applications may include shops - where they could be positioned to measure the reaction of customers to products on display.

They so need to introduce this in London although I can't imagine those lazy, apathetic Transport For London folk ever bowing and smiling for passengers. 

Duncan James is "bisexual"

Duncan James, from the boy band 'Blue' last admitted that he likes both sides of his bread buttered.

In an interview with a trashy tabloid, he said: "I was living a secret life. I went through a process of asking what the fuck am I?

"Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I bi? That's why I was so frightened about talking. Now, in my early 30s, I know who I am and I'm proud of who I am. I don't want to hide anymore."

Hmm, sorry if this offends, but I'm not sure I believe in bisexuality. I believe that you're either straight (but during those periods when you're not getting any pussy, you're content with having a dude suck you off as the next best alternative) or gay (but you've got issues about calling yourself gay so you just say you're bisexual to make you feel better). What do you think?

Stressed-out workers are snapping up the latest anxiety-busting accessory — a bra for men!

The £20 garment, made of soothing silky material, is claimed to make wearers feel “calm and revived”.

Its makers have produced 5,000 in a choice of white, pink or black and say they are selling like hot cakes but they fit only the smallest of moobs as they come in just one size, a tiny A cup. Boo hoo!

Mail order undies firm Wishroom started selling the Bra-O in Japan last year. Most of its customers are “salarymen”, office workers in their 30s and 40s. "

Wishroom boss Masayuki Tsuchiya said: “Japanese salary men have a lot of stress but they’re not interested in cross-dressing; they just find wearing a bra relaxes them.”

Another, more surprising, market has proven to be in their 50s and 60s who, it turns out, also partial to the calming effects of a bra.

"They were the generation we had been told were manly - they led Japan in the post-war period," explains Tsuchiya, speculating they may now be reacting against this stereotype.

A Russian woman has set a new world record by lifting 14kg weights...using her VAGINA!

Tatiata Kozhevnikova of Novosibirsk, aged 42, has been in training for 15 years and has finally won the bragging rights after lifting a 14kg glass ball.

"You insert one of the balls in your vagina, and it has a string attached to it with a little hook at the very end. You fix a second ball onto this hook."

"After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls.

"I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina. It took me ages to get it out!

"It's enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you'll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed."